2.7.10

Surat kepada tuan punya kucing yang biadap

Kepada

Jiran yang berkenaan

Y. Bhg. Dato' / Y.Berhormat Datin/ Tuan/ Puan,

KUCINGNYA BIADAP KERANA TUANNYA TIDAK MEMANTAU
- Satu luahan ketidakpuashatian

Dengan segala hormatnya gua merujuk perkara di atas.

2. Sukacita gua maklumkan di sini, sebagai jiran yang gua hormati. Gua tak mahu syak apa-apa langsung. Jiran di sini bermaksud empat puluh ke kiri, kanan, depan dan belakang dari rumah gua. Harap maklum. Semoga kau berada dalam keadaan yang paling bahagia bersama kucing kesayangan kau. Maaf, kerana gua terpaksa gunakan kekasaran dan kekerasan gua demi menunjukkan gua benar-benar tegas akan hal ini.

3. Tujuan gua menulis surat ini adalah untuk memberitahu bahawa tolong jaga dan perhatikan kucing kau selama ini membuang najisnya di mana. Ada kau kisah? Kalau di dalam tandas rumah kau, gua tabik spring. Toink, toink. Tolong! Jangan buat-buat tak tahu dan buat bodoh atau buat-buat alim kucing macam kucing kau sendiri. Kalau satu hari nanti, kau terlihat kucing kau bulunya bertukar warna-warni jangan tuduh gua simbah cat di badannya atau ekornya menjadi kontot, jangan tuduh gua trim menggunakan gunting rumput. Jangan salahkan jiran-jiran kau. Sebaliknya, tanya balik pada diri kau sendiri.

4. Gua bukanlah dalam kategori orang yang anti kucing. Gua sendiri takdelah membela kucing kerana gua tak mahu menyusahkan orang lain. Paling kuat pun gua bela ikan. Tapi, kalau dah kucing kau membuang najisnya di 'rock garden' gua. Ini betul-betul bolah mendatangkan marah. Kalau kau bela kucing, tolonglah ajar kucing kau cara dan kaedah membuang najis di tempat yang betul. Dan seperkara lagi, tolong sediakan tempat untuknya membuang najis di rumah kau sendiri. Itu saja. Tak susah kan.

5. 'Rock garden' gua bukan direkabentuk untuk kucing jantan waima kucing betina sekalipun untuk membuang najis di situ. Juga tiada papan tanda yang membenarkan kucing kau melepaskan qada' hajatnya di situ. Habis, kau nak salahkan gua kenapa tak pasang CCTV. Wei wei wei.., isunya sekarang kucing kau dah masuk teritori rumah gua. Kalau sekali gua jadi tukang membuang najis tak apa. Ini dah masuk berkali-kali apa hal. Kesabaran gua dah tak tertahan sekarang ni. Tinggal lagi sekarang ni, gua syak, kucing kau membuat kerja-kerja ini pada waktu malam di kala semua orang sedang lena beradu atau sedap bersetubuh. Kau jenguk-jenguklah sikit waktu malam atau seawal pagi kucing kau ada di mana. Oleh sebab itu, kekadang seawal pagi apabila gua mahu keluar mencari nafkah dengan harapan dapat menghirup udara yang segar tompokan najis ada di 'rock garden' gua. Sudahnya, aroma yang busuk menusuk ke hidung gua. Sekarang, gua belum dapat tangkap kucing itu. Dia hanya singgah untuk meninggalkan najisnya saja. Bila sekali gua dapat cam muka dia. Gua akan panggil kucing-kucing kat taman tu untuk sesi kawad cam. Jangan sampai kucing kau jadi mangsa. Tolonglah...

6. Sebagai langkah awal, gua dah pasang periuk api, lintasan dawai elektrik, jerangkap samar dan mercun roket untuk langkah berjaga-jaga kerana gua khuatir, dia ajak member-member dia untuk melakukan qada' hajat secara berjemaah. Ini nasihat gua, kau jangan menyesal di kemudian hari. Akhir kata dari gua. "Kau pandai bela seharusnya kau pandailah juga ajar kucing kau jangan bersikap biadap." Kucing ada otak, tuan punya kucing ada akal fikiran. Gua (jiran kau) punya sekeping hati dan perasaan. Semoga perhubungan baik sesama jiran kita sentiasa harmonis. Jangan kerana disebabkan kucing itu gua dan lu tak bertegur sapa lalu masuk neraka.

Sekian,

Yang Benar
Ahtok


.

19 comments:

riz said...

wei..lawak gila n3 ni...buatku geli hati aym...

riz said...

wei...lawak giler n3 ni..
ko jual je kucing tu...dpt gak duit..

amy said...

giler kejam...haha

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